Not All Wounds Are Visible

I have lived the first 44 years of my life without major medical or mental health issues. I have been sharing about my deep dive into the medical realm this year. Then slowly, by rounds 4 and 5, I started to experience the mental health issues that accompany chemo and well, everything else in my life right now. It is one of the reasons that my writing has taken a pause. I don’t feel like I have much to say right now.

However, after a visit with a good friend, I did realize that the post I am currently writing is one I want to muster-up and share. Go figure, it is happening yet again, during my sleepless steroid-induced nights. There’s nothing much better than a 3:11 a.m. musing, well, that’s up to you. LOL.

My friend was sharing about the pain, devastation, and struggle that accompanied a recent divorce. Now I have never lived through a divorce, but I have been taught it is one of the most mentally painful experiences one can have. She is a giver. And sadly, he is an alcoholic who was never physically abusive, but you can argue that the mental abuse was front and center. And like a good giver, she kept trying to figure out how to smooth it over. She would walk on egg shells and try to change and meet his needs. In this reality, she was not met with the same grace.

As we cried together over our mental blemishes, while different, I found that when she started to defend him my blood pressure would rise. I felt like a porcupine with all my quills raised. I don’t remember what she said, but what I heard was something along the lines of, “It’s not like he was physically abusive.”

That remark didn’t get my theological spidey senses going, but it sure got my physical vs mental health gong clanging!

The short of it is, I will take physical pain over mental pain any day. That statement is not something I knew prior to this experience. See, when you have your mental faculties at your ready, then you have what you need to get through the physical pain. When your mental state is fracturing, it’s hard to get through anything.

Sadly, most of us have this idea that physical pain—that which we can actually see with our own eyes—is worse. The scars are visible. I mean, it can literally kill you. And it leads us to say things like, “it’s not like I was physically hurt. It’s just an emotional blemish.” Well, fuck that shit! An emotional blemish can be just as fatal as a physical one. And sadly, we see that happening more and more these days. There are simply too many lives lost due to fracturing mental health. The truth is that emotional blemishes can be even worse because people cannot see them. There’s a lymphoma awareness slogan that says, “Not all wounds are visible.”

So, if you’re struggling and it’s not physical, please give yourself grace. Your pain is just as real, please don’t just slough it off. And for those caught in both the physical and mental pain (because as I have experienced they sure can come together), Lord, have mercy.

And in those deep and dark moments, I hope you have a safe place to turn. During my experience, I have been gifted with YOU. I do get sunshine, so much sunshine from you.

I have a whole document I’ve kept of things you’ve shared and when it gets dark, I go back to the sunshine—I have kept an assortment of words, but for this post, I’ll share one devotional quote, scripture, personal words, and of course, I’ll end on a Hallmark card. Here is some of the sunshine you have twinkled on me:

“God help me to accept the things I cannot change, and to trust Your grace even when things feel hopeless,” Amen (Christ in our Home, June 30, 2023)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

 “May you know God’s healing touch through those around you. Christ’s hope-filled embrace and the Spirit’s beyond words peace in the days ahead.” (Pastor Kara)

“The same God who moves mountains and parts seas is watching over you, and there’s nothing God can’t do.” (Hallmark Card)

Amen!

16 responses to “Not All Wounds Are Visible”

  1. Bernie Depra Avatar
    Bernie Depra

    You’re still my sunshine! I love seeing you everyday even if it’s mostly on the couch with your sweet pups! You’re stronger in your faith than you probably know. You bring communities and strangers together alike. You are a blessing to this world. I love you dear friend. Always! ❤️

  2. Diane Thomas Avatar
    Diane Thomas

    Pastor Dana,
    Having been through many different struggles myself during my life I know exactly what you are saying. It beats you down like nothing else does. I wish you peace during this difficult time and know there will be light on the other side.
    Sending you love and hugs.
    Diane

  3. Debi Avatar
    Debi

    Pastor Dana, never quit writing, and journaling, your thoughts. You will find an understanding that will guide you , it’ll be your knowledge of your faith ,and your experiences of those who you’ve comforted , unfortunately moving forward never comes when we are in our comfort zone- Blessings for you today

  4. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Dana, not only are you strong, you are quite a teacher. Grateful for all you’ve shared. And if I may take a moment to add a little dark humor, I concur: yes, the emotional pain of a broken relationship/divorce is far more difficult that the worst physical pain I can think of—having serious dental work! I’d rather have thirty drillings, root canals, and extractions than another broken relationship. Love you, and stay strong. xo

  5. bisacodyl venta libre en México Avatar

    I know this web page gives quality depending
    posts and extra stuff, is there any other site which provides these data in quality?

  6. Achat de isoniazid sur Internet : comment choisir le bon fournisseur Avatar

    You actually make it seem so easy together with your presentation however I to find this
    topic to be really one thing which I feel I’d never understand.

    It sort of feels too complex and extremely broad for
    me. I’m taking a look ahead on your subsequent post,
    I will attempt to get the dangle of it!

  7. motilium kopen: gemakkelijk en snel online Avatar

    This article offers clear idea designed for the new people of blogging, that really how to do blogging and
    site-building.

  8. bacopa in einer Apotheke in München erhältlich Avatar

    Hello, i believe that i noticed you visited my blog thus i came to
    return the want?.I’m attempting to to find issues to enhance
    my website!I guess its adequate to make use of a few of your concepts!!

  9. online apotheek voor bisacodyl in België Avatar

    My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be
    just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content in your
    case? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a number of
    the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome blog!

  10. tesavel de qualité garantie Avatar

    This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!!
    Finally I’ve found something that helped me.
    Thanks!

  11. betaxolol a un prezzo competitivo Avatar

    Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!
    Very helpful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info much.
    I was looking for this particular information for
    a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  12. augmentin verzending en bezorgopties in Nederland Avatar

    I read this article fully concerning the difference of most
    up-to-date and preceding technologies, it’s remarkable
    article.

  13. Where to find discounts on lotrisone online Avatar

    This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally
    I’ve found something that helped me. Thanks a lot!

  14. tadalafil zonder recept verkrijgbaar voor Nederlandse consumenten Avatar

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
    Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
    By the way, how can we communicate?

  15. сұлы үлпектері ккал Avatar

    Pretty! This was a really wonderful post.
    Thank you for providing these details.

  16. Wo kann man cotrimoxazole ohne Rezept in Hannover bestellen Avatar

    You really make it appear really easy with your presentation but I in finding this
    topic to be really one thing which I believe I would never
    understand. It seems too complicated and very vast for me.
    I am having a look forward for your subsequent submit, I’ll try
    to get the dangle of it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *